One of my favorite christian women is Beth Moore. She has got the most amazing heart and I love the spirit she carries with her. I've done three of her bible studies and want to do more. I was on the Living Proof Ministries website yesterday and read a letter by Beth and towards the end she said something that has struck a chord with me. She said that all of these years she has not let worldly struggles or success take her eyes of Jesus! She credits prayer, not only from her, but from the millions of others who pray for her and her ministry. It occurs to me that I don't always take that stance with things in my life, but I want to! I want to always keep my eyes on Jesus and not on the temporary situations and circumstances that surround me daily. So many things can cause me to look away. I am reminded once again,just with those few words, that I am a woman after God's heart! No one else but his. I need to get back into the habit of having that love relationship with my Lord. To remember in the midst of hard times and good times that he is my rock, my redeemer, he is my fortress. I have been blessed to have many friends, old & young, who are the face of God to me and I am so thankful that he gives me examples to inspire me to come home and rest awhile!

If I could take just a moment and pour out my heart
I would say to my Lord, My God, How great thou art.
You walk with me by day and safeguard me through the night
always there beside me no matter what the strife.
So from this humble heart, I just wanted to say
I love you Lord! I'll be pursuing YOU today.

A Shakesperean Adventure

Our son Matthew is quite the talent on stage and tonight we attended a dinner theater put on by the drama club. It is the school's One Act. This year they did Macbeth. I am always amazed when I see Matthew perform because living from day to day sometimes I forget his talent. After the show Mark asked me, out of the blue, what brings me joy. It took me a couple of minutes to answer and my response was, watching my children succeed and live out some of their dreams. I know that our ultimate joy comes from God and that he is our reason to rejoice. That being said, there is no greater joy so far in this life than being a mother. Father, I thank you so much that you have entrusted these children to me. I pray that you would be my guide and give me the wisdom needed to complete the task of raising them. What a gift you have given to me.

Well we did it! We finally managed to get family pictures taken. It was a bittersweet family portrait as I find myself wondering if it will ever look the same. Our lives are changing so very quickly. We are once again experiencing firsts with our children. This was the first Christmas we decorated our tree without Kristina. It was a hard day for me I admit! It didn't seem complete but I realize that we are on another part of our journey with Kristina. Being there for here as she discovers the pressures that come with being an adult and having to support yourself. I also think toward the future and know that next year will be very different as well. I'm not sure where we will be living but I do know that we will be on a military base somewhere and my heart is happy with that. There is a kinship among the families that serve in the armed forces that can not fully be explained. I'm not sure if Mark will be with us next Christmas or if he will find himself in the desert but one thing I am assured of is that God is with us no matter where we go. So this Christmas as we live out transition and say good-bye to the things we have known I thank God that he always has us in his care and that he always surrounds us with people to love and who love us in return. Thank you Father for your constant love and care.

Last night just before bed I found my heart a little troubled (who am I kidding) a lot troubled, I brushed my teeth grabbed my bible and said goodnight to my family. I needed a few minutes alone with my God. I needed to hear from him and to be reassured (once again) of his presence in my life. To my delight I found myself in Isaiah 41:9b-10 I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. We have so many questions about what our very near future will hold and I find myself in pit of worry and fear. God is so good to remind me that he is my strength and that he has not left me he is right here guiding me and loving me. It is so easy to slip into a pit of worry and fear because we are so often surrounded by the worlds standards. But take heart, God is just a breath away and he is longing for you to grab your bible and come slip away with him for just a little while so that he can rebuild, reassure and strengthen you for the time ahead. In his grace.

The end of one chapter and the begining of another!

Today Mark was ordained. He has been in school and pursuing this goal since 2000. It was overwhelming today to see the man I love so much on his knees as he accepts once again the calling God has placed on his life. I pray he knows how very proud of him I am. His determination during this process has been amazing to watch. There have been times in this journey have served as roadblocks and at times I've wondered if we would finish. As I watched people laying hands on my husband today my heart was overwhelmed with the abundance of Christ and the many ways that he has seen and led us through these last 7 1/2 years. Father, I thank you so much that you have always been just a whisper away. Thank you for giving us your strength when our strength had run it's course. I pray that we will live the rest of our lives in a manner that glorify you and pour your love upon those you bring into our lives. We love you so much and we are so thankful for the gift of your son and the price he paid so that we could call you Abba..God be our guide, our source of all that we need.....Constantly Amazed by Your Grace!

Reasons to rejoice!

Today Mark had an interview with an Active Duty Chaplain and all went well. We are very hopeful that this will make it possible for Mark's packet to go before the board at the December 12th meeting and that he will be able to go to school in January and begin service. We kind of feel like we are in limbo right now because Mark will be done serving the churches December 30th and will need to find work if he is not able to go to school. I know that God is working in this situation...I pray that my health will improve and that I will be able to be the strong again. In this joy we have reason for concern as I found out today that I will have to have a hysterectomy. We are trying to get this done before the end of the year so that Mark will be able to be here. We also will lose our insurance at the end of December so it will need to be taken care of. In my heart of heart I pray that God will watch over me and walk with my family and I as we travel through yet another great adventure. We are so blessed to have a father that walks with us through every trial and fear. I have had more comfort in the thought of my Lord and savior in the last few weeks than I can ever remember having. I no that no matter what the future brings that he has rescued me from the pit and has set a place for me in heaven with him. Thank you so much Father, that you love a sinner such as I. I pray that my heart, mind, soul and strength would glorify him in this life......

So blessed! Happy Thanksgiving

Thankful---Blessed

It's been a while since I've written anything. I have been feeling yucky! The last two days have been so good. I am not up to 100% but I praise God that he has blessed me with a couple of days of feeling well. This west nile thing is just awful! My heart has a special place for all those who suffer with it. Many good things have happened from this (illness) but of most value to me right now is that I have learned to absolutely rely on God in the moment and I when I feel good I stop and praise him. I'm so thankful that even though there might be rough roads ahead that for today My God blessed me with good fellowship, good friends and good worship. I stand in awe of the wonderful grace that he pours into this sinners life.....So undeserving, so ready to surrender my self to his will. I love you Lord! I thank you for your strength, power and goodness in my life today....

It was all me!

I must share that in the last several years I have been feeling (hard) so to speak. We had a couple of really hurtful experiences in churches in Kentucky and I let that effect the way that I related to people in our churches. A beautiful thing has happened in the last couple of weeks, in that it seems that the hardness has gone away. All of the sudden I feel like me again. I feel free to love people openly and without fear of hurt. I have missed it so much. It's almost as if it was a bondage. I feel more open to God and his leading than I have in such a long time. Even though my health is not the best right now I am praising God with all my heart for this restoration. It never ceases to amaze and I never get tired of learning that it is not God who journeys away from us but rather it is us that fades away from him. Wherever you are at, wherever you have been just reach out and you'll discover he is right there. From this thankful heart to yours, I pray you are blessed.

Fall Blessings

Today has been absolutely wonderful! We had a consignment auction at the church today. We were there from 8 this morning until after 4 this afternoon. It was such a good day. We spent the day visiting with parishioners (friends in christ) and watching everyone interact. In a big way it was a celebration of the ministry that we have been blessed to be a part of for the last 2 1/2 years. Martell church has always been such a lovely bunch of people and they have just come to live. They are so loving and have such a heart to see there church alive and vibrant in the community. I praise God today that even though I did not feel well he gave me the strength to get through the day and blessed me immeasurably....I pray you are blessed.

I never cease to be amazed at how quickly things can change! We have, for the most part, moved into what will be home for a few months. There are still a few items at the old house but nothing much to worry about. I am so happy that we have gotten this taken care of and now my family will not be living out of boxes for the holidays and I pray that Mark will have the peace he needs to focus on the next couple of months. The holiday season is always such a busy season in the church and now he is trying to transition his ministry to prepare for whomever will take his place when he leaves at the end of December. Our oldest daughter has officially moved into her own apt this week. Such a bittersweet time in our lives. I want so much as a mother to continue to protect her from all things but I realize that she needs to begin to live her life and become who it is that God has called her to be. With all of this going on it seems a fairly poor time to have contracted the West Nile Virus but it would seem that I have. I have had two tests now and they aren't officially diagnosing me at this time but one of the tests does show that I have recently been infected. I strongly suspect that is was late in the summer as I was spending a lot of time out doors riding my bike and walking. I am rather frustrated about this because it has just wiped me out. I am weak and tired and don't feel like I'm of much help right now. There are days when I feel normal for the most part so I praise God in those days...and in the ones that are not so good. I pray that God will give me the strength to pursue his will in this and not get hung up on a pity party (which I have been known to do). If I could communicate the desire of my heart right now it would be that God would heal me from this but that being said I pray that I would delight the heart of God by the way I handle this situation and that he would increase my faith and help to be a blessing not only to my family but to anyone that he would have cross my path. As for this day......I pray you are blessed.

Well we started packing yesterday and I found myself in an odd place emotionally. I was thinking of when we first saw this house and how I was struck by all of the wood it. It is so beautiful! There are hardwood floors in most of the downstairs and each frame or entry way has large wood framing and there are built in bookshelves that separate the living room from the dining room. It is really striking when it is all cleaned up. I am excited to be moving into town but there is a part of me that is grieving as well. We have good memories in this house and with the churches we have served here. There are so many people we have grown to love and care for in the short time we have been here. I thank God for sending us here and I am so thankful to the people of the churches we serve for accepting us and loving us and always doing whatever they could to make us at home. There is joy and sadness all at the same time. As we prepare for the unknown I pray that we will remember who the source of our strength is. God Bless!

It doesn't get more real than this!

Since August of this year my husband has been preparing to re-join the army. He has 9 years of prior service and now will be serving as a Chaplain. He went yesterday and got his physical and everything has gone very well. If everything goes as planned he will going to school in January. My husband told the church this Sunday that we would be leaving he will continue to pastor the two churches we are at until The end of December. We have blessed to have already found a place to live in the town where the kids attend school and we will be moving there in a couple of weeks. Life is one big adventure after another and just when you think that you've got it figured out God let's you know that he's still in charge. I am so thankful for his never ending grace. In all my wandering and times of doubt he is steadfast and faithful. Father, I thank you for always being just within my reach and for always reminding me that you are the author and perfecter of my faith. I pray that my actions, words and deeds would glorify you as we begin this part of the journey that you have for us!