The beauty of it all

For all of us here life has taken on a peaceful kind of routine. During the week we either go to work or school and then we come together for supper, do a little tidy work and then we find our way to the bed for the night. We have spent more time together since Mark and I both started new jobs then we have in a very long time. The kids are responding quite well to new set expectations and for now all is right with the world. The weekends are wonderful! Right now Mark and I both have weekends off, (that's coming to an end very quickly). We are able to sleep in on Saturday and then spend the day taking care of what needs to be done, i.e. bills, cleaning, errands.....This weekend was especially wonderful because Mark and I celebrated our 20th anniversary. It's not officially until Wednesday but we knew we would both be tired and Mark starts third shift soon so we wanted to take the time to spend with each other. 20 years is quite an accomplishment, especially considering that we are only 39 and 36. We didn't have a huge party or exchange extravagant gifts. We went to dinner and then we went to see the Bucket List. Great Movie!. I guess I'm sharing all of this because over this weekend I have felt God pouring into me a new awareness. An awareness of the human experience and how incredibly blessed we are to not only be able to have that experience ourselves but also to be able to learn from others. My heart almost can't take the beauty of what God has done for me. I'm 36 years old (37 is coming fast), I have been loved by a wonderful man for more than half of my life, I have held three new born babies and watched them grow, I have lost two babies that I never got to hold, I have been a wife, mother, daughter, a sister, and a friend. I have known the pain of losing someone I love and I have been blessed with being there and helping others as they have said good-bye to ones that they loved. I have been able to make friends from all over the country. I have been a stay at home mom and I have been a success in business. But above all of these things I have been loved by my heavenly father with a love that goes beyond reason or understanding. For each new day I am granted, for each sunrise and sunset I get to see, I pray that I will never be dulled by it or consider it just another day. I pray that I will always be moved in my soul by the things that God surrounds me with. Whether it is that brilliant colored sky or whether it is the smile of a friend, the warmth and care of my husband I pray that I will always let it take my breath away. I pray for all of you, I pray that you would have a moment today that simply takes your breath away and makes you remember how much God loves each of you....Blessings to you

Here I am!

It has been quite sometime since I have written here. I guess the holiday season kinda of got hectic and I did not have a lot of time to write. My how things can change! I went back to work recently. I have not worked since early October due to my little friend, the West Nile Virus. It feels good to be back into society and meeting new people.
I must share that these many months I have been trying to overcome much more than just the virus. My heart has been burdened and heavy for many months now. I have been trying to get over leaving a job that I loved, a job that I thought defined who I was. I was an office manager for a chiropractor. I loved my job! Maybe not so much the title or even the profession. I loved what I got to do, each day our Doctor would meet with us for a few moments before we would begin shift and he would read us a passage scripture or educate us about a new amd different way we could reach our patients and then we would pray before we began that shift. On would go the Christian music and we would march out of our meeting like soldiers on a mission! I am not going to go into the details that led me to leave. I will say that it has been 8 months now and I still think about my job there and, I confess, my heart wishes I were still there. I was on my way home from work yesterday and I felt God speak ever so gently to my heart concerning this matter. You see before I worked in that office I had terrible self-esteem issues. It was a problem in the very begining of my time there, but the doctor believed in me and spend a lot of time and effort training me to believe in myself. I felt confident in my postion there and it helped me to feel whole and good about who I was. When I left that place I left all that I had learned about self there as well. What God whispered to my heart yesterday was that my hope is not in that office, my worth is not subject to a title or a job well done. My worth comes from him! He does not love me less or value me less because I no longer hold that position or title. I am his child and he loves me just the same. For those of you who read this I pray you know your value and how much you are loved, not just by God but by me as well. I have been so blessed! Blessed enough to want to pass it on to you. God bless you my friends, may our God pour upon you a fresh understanding of just how much you are of worth to him.
Abiding in Him,
Tanya